I've been avoiding this place because I have no easy answers. I recognize it as avoidance in the psychological sense but yet I do it. Its easier to push these feelings aside than to confront them. I think I wanted to find answers and the more I dig the more questions I find and it is unsettling to say the least. My questions about prayer have led me down a path of wondering who exactly I'm praying to and what role this 'who' plays in daily life. In short, I don't know. And this depresses me to no end.
Logically I can't deduce a better argument for belief than non-belief. When I say 'someone' had to start it all, the star stuff we are all made of had to come from somewhere so that must be god. But then the non-believer asks but where did God come from. When I say he just always was then the non-believer says but why couldn't the star stuff just be if God could just be. A valid question. There is no answer so it comes down to faith. Some days I have it, some days I don't.